Hmmmm.....

I finally published a paper explaining my experience over the past few years and got out some things that to date I have not discussed publicly. I feel great! What is that, I mean I really feel good, at peace, content, ready to leave it all behind and just because I commited somethings to paper? I would have never imagined that it would have such an impact on me, yet it has and I am glad.

Weak or Wicked?

Over the past few years I have heard people give opinions on the failures of others, particularly those who have served in visible leadership positions in the church, as I once did. I have not been privy to what people have speculated in regards to my failures, but I have heard what has been said about others. It goes something like this, ' I can't believe 'Ernie' could do such a thing, he knew exactly what he was doing and yet he still went out and ministered. No wonder 'Pastor Joe' is so upset with him, he gave him a platform and was betrayed by him'. When you hear it you understand what the person is saying and in some cases that may be true, but I think there is another explanation as well. In fact when I heard this being stated I responded by saying, 'Well I guess that's true, if, 'Ernie' is an evil man. But what if he was simply weak?"
Not only have I experienced failure personally, I have known others well who have and frankly I can understand how they got to a place where they were able to act in a duplicitous way. Let us say that there is a person who is highly gifted, sought after and whose ministry is fruitful. Then let us say that this person is also has areas that are broken and unrecovered in his life. A person in such a state often finds themselves in great conflict when it comes to understanding how they can be at the same time 'blessed and gifted by God' and broken and susceptible to sinful behavior. The truth is the people around such a person for the most part become so enamored by giftedness that they ignore character issues, many times turning a blind eye to things that indicate that all may not be right. This too can confuse the gifted who for the most part they feel as if their brokenness is evident to all, yet no one seems to be to terribly concerned, which feeds their deception. By the way I'm not excusing anything here I'm simply trying to explain something.
So you have this gifted and fruitful person and I use fruitful intentionally because I am assuming only God can bring forth good fruit, which feeds the delusion of the gifted, yet broken. This person is losing the battle over sin in one arena, yet seems to be winning the battle over Satan in another! So this person is goes about their life and a temptation comes forth and they succumb to the temptation and sin. In the aftermath of the sin they feel great remorse, guilt and shame; they confess their sin, making promises to God that they will never act in such a sinful and evil way again. Soon thereafter they are placed in a position to minister and do so with great affect and with apparently bearing wonderful fruit. This can cause the person to believe that this is a sign of God's forgiveness and His favor and they feel greatly relieved and comforted by this fact, until......they are tempted again and succumb again! The pattern doesn't cease and ultimately the person is ‘found out’ and or ‘caught in sin’ and in many cases are written off as being liars and hypocrites, deceivers and such. When in reality they are weak, broken and confused, needing the Body to cover them in love and mercy, restoring such a one gently as the Bible says. I didn't say for the Body to 'cover up' for them, I'm not advocating ignoring disqualifying behavior and enabling the broken one. What I am advocating is, well, what the Apostle Paul advocated, 'When someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual (you who are relying on the Spirit for your holiness) restore such a one with gentleness AND be careful least you fall into temptation yourselves.' The temptation is to judge ' Ernie is a wicked man, he knew what he was doing, therefore it is acceptable for us to act out our anger and take punitive action against him'. We can also succumb to the temptation to punish, of which there is no such mandate released to the church in the scripture.
The truth is most of our leaders do not fail in a vacuum; they generally don't get into a place where they have become delusional, calling wrong right and right wrong without some enabling behavior by those around them. It takes everyone’s co operation in most cases. But when a leader falls we generally like to let them fall alone, isolated as if we had no part in their failures. Which I doubt is true in many cases.
Hey if a person is evil and their intention is to deceive others, to abuse others, to exploit others, that is another thing altogether. My guess is that in most cases we have people like David, a man after God's own heart, or Peter, who of course would never betray Jesus, who on the one hand are people called by God, used by God, blessed by God, yet their own weakness leads them to deceive themselves and allows them to deceive others even if that wasn't their intention.
If someone is wicked we have clear instruction as to what to do with them and by the way even then we aren't the ones administering punishment, we are to turn such a one over to Satan for the destruction of their sinful nature. But if that isn't the case, if they are weak and caught in sin, then we have another clearly outlined mandate in scripture, 'restore such a one gently'
Wicked or weak, that is the question?

On Worship

I have begun leading worship on a regular basis at a local church, it's probably been 20 plus years since I was the primary worship leader anyplace. I really love much of the new music and have been enjoying it for years. Although the music has changed my approach hasn't. I don't see myself as a 'worship artist', or see myself performing in the classic sense. What I seek to do is through song help people to engage their hearts with the heart of God. The idea for me is to somehow help people to call to remembrance who He is, what He has done, His faithfulness, love and mercy, in doing so I think they will experience a refreshing and that their faith will be strengthened. I don't talk much or do any real exhorting of the 'congregation', I think it's the Holy Spirits job to do that. So what if people are standing with hands lifted up, if it isn't happening in their hearts. 'Those who worship must worship in spirit and in truth', which is God territory not mine. I just try to lead a seamless, flowing 'worship set' that allows for all of the above. Make sense?

Nov. 28,05

I talk about 'church' with many people, many of whom are not terribly satisfied with their experience. This will immediately evoke a defensiveness on the part of some of my readers, but for those who relate to the less satisfied folks, I would love to hear your thoughts. What makes church great? What makes it engaging and interesting? What do you look for in church. Again for those who are of the belief that we should simply march in and march out without question, without reflection, blessing to you. There are some of us who simply can't do that. I haven't been able to do that since I was 11 years old. I really became curious as I studied the Bible and then compared it to my church experience and it was troubling. I asked a lot of questions and for the most part I was given answers that didn't answer the questions at all. In fact they seem to avoid the question and focus instead on me, implying rebellion or divisiveness. It is a tried and true method of dealing with serious and valid questions to this day. Instead of answering the question, question the one who is asking. For instance when I asked one time' How much of the church budget was set aside of evangelism?', I was asked about my own personal commitment to evangelism. 'Have you witnessed for Christ today?' I didn't mind the question itself, what bothered me is the unwillingness to be open about the churches finances and the general feeling that any question was an attack on the church itself. I wonder how we can do it better (and we can do it better) if we never seek to find out where the weaknesses are. The term community is bandied about quit a bit these days and community is great. But we have to remember community is inclusive and embracing. Community looks at things from all sides and decides in a sense together, because in fact community is life together. I am all for leadership, I believe in some cases it's a gift of the Holy Spirit, but leadership in a vacuum is devoid of the essence of community. Community is critical for a people who are willing to reflect, listen, question, and challenge the status quo. Community is not hierarchical rather it is inclusive. It is a place where the fast slow down and the slow speed up so we can go together. Frankly if the stats we read about 57,000 people a week leaving the church are any where near correct, we probably should be asking some questions, seeking more answers and being a bit less defensive.

A simple question

Has your church become so seeker sensitive that it feels hostile to believers? I know there are many views on this, what's yours?

Interesting

Someone I know once observed that there is a three point message commonly given in churches today.
"God is good. You are bad. And you need to try harder?"

Unfortunately I think he is right.

Relationship or Religion

When I first became a Christian, one of the statements that I heard often went something like this, ' The difference between Christianity and other religions is that Christianity is a relationship not a religion.' I believe that this is true.

I'm wondering though do we talk relationship and do religion? Do we rely on ' principles' 'keys' 'steps' and 'choices' or are we engaged in a relationship that is, in a sense, renewed each day. Do we do the disciplines so we can have relationship? Or Do we have a relationship and therefore do the disciplines? Is it 'walking in the Spirit', that leads us to not fulfill the desires of the flesh? Or Is is simply a matter of making right choices? Is there a difference? I think there is, one is relationship based and one is more programmatic and frankly self reliant. One can be done in ones own strength and ability, the other can only be achieved through dependence and need.

Embracing my weakness in wholeness

I wasn't quit sure how to express what I want to say in the title. What I have been thinking about recently is how far God will go in bringing us to a place of brokenness. To a place where we are able to 'glory in our weakness'. I am much more comfortable when I feel strong and competent. I am certain that God does not take pleasure in the breaking process, but I am also certain that if it is what we have to go through to enter into a place of dependence he will allow it. I have gone through many things that have broken me down, lots of loss and pain, grief and sorrow. It has been very difficult, but it has been the road to recovery. Not a recovery of my strength, but of my dependent relationship with Jesus. I live in such a way that he truly is my 'daily bread', he is the one I turn to and depend on for what I will need to make it through today.
This is so good and I am so much more content and at peace in this place. My concern is as I begin to feel strong and able again that I will lean again on my own understanding. I want very much to move on in life, embrace God's call and give expression to my faith in Him, but I want to do that from a place of being in a continual state of knowing my need. It is in the place of not feeling and knowing my need that I begin to rely on myself for what only God can do. I have lived there for many years and although I was successful by all appearances, my relationship with the Lord suffered and I experienced a great emptiness, rather than the fullness I know now in a place of rest and dependence.

Church?

What is church? Really! Is it a location? How many people do you need for it to be 'church'? I'm serious, do we really believe that it is where 'two or more are gathered' or do we need to have Annoucements, Sunday School, Special Music and take an offering for it to be church? Do you have to have a sermon for it to be church? Hey I'm just curious, I sometimes wonder if everything we call church is really 'church'.
I know this with 57,000 people a week disengaging from church, we probably should be rethinking how we do church.
I think there are lots of ways to do church. My Orthodox and Catholic friends wouldn't agree, they seem to be pretty clear on what they think church is and I like to go to their meetings from time to time. I find it enriching and stimulating to my mind and my heart, but I'm not convinced that what they are doing is a replication of the early church.
There are many people who think they know what church is, there are 10's of thousands of examples of this in the Yellow pages across America. What if what Jesus said is true? What if He meant what He said? Just curious, what do you think?

Be a good follower

Along the lines of being a good follower I would advise: Don't check your brains and your Bible at the door! If you're in a place where it is not alright to ask questions, you are probably in the wrong place. At least not a safe place. Remember though, there is a big difference between a question and an accusation and sometimes the way we ask a question makes the person to whom the question is directed feel as if they are being accused of something. If a person feels like they are being attacked it is only natural for them to respond defensively.
I suggest that you seek clarification regarding a matter so you can fully understand either a decision that has been made or a statement you may have heard incorrectly. If it's not alright to seek clarification, agian you probably are in an enviroment that isn't all that healthy.