When is a friend a friend? I had someone tell me recently about a conclusion she came to regarding a 'friend' of hers. I know this person quite well and I knew who she was talking about. It totally surprised me when she said 'you know I just came to realize that 'Jane' -not her real name- really isn't my friend.' Although surprised I felt like I knew what she was saying. When I say I think I knew what she was saying, it was because over the years I have come to realize the same thing. That there are many people who say they are your friend, they would say that to you and would say that to others, but their behavior contradicts this claim. We all go through times when our friendships are closer than at other times, the question to ask is, 'What is the relationship like in times of trouble?' Someone told me when I began experiencing difficulties in my life, that I would find out who my friends are and they were right. The person who told me this, in fact has turned out to be a wonderful and available friend. The truth is I don't see him much and we can go for long periods without communicating, but when I needed him most he was there and if I needed him now he would be there, no doubt about it.
This has actually been a wonderful discovery. It's not that the people that I would have thought were my friends aren't nice people or even good people. More than likely they are, they just aren't really my friends. And that is okay, you can only have some many really close relationships, so there is no use fooling yourself and spending energy on relationships that are based on pretense, no one needs that.
I have also discovered and realize more each day that the people that I am the most concerned about, in terms of there opinion of me, are my six children, I am happy for the friendships I have and there are more than I could ever hope for, but the indispensable relationships are with my six children and over time my grand children.
So who are your friends? The truth is, they are the people who act like it. People who don't always act in their own interest. People who think about you and act upon their thoughts. If they don't, guess what, they really aren't your friends.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Long ago in a galaxy far away.....
I just received a note from someone who commented on what he observed in the early stages of the group that eventually would become Calvary Chapel Yorba Linda, then in 1982 change it's name to The Vineyard Christian Fellowship.
The thing he pointed out was the simplicity that earmarked this group and he is right in observing this. It was very simple in it's formula, we would 'worship' for a long, long time, which in terms of song selection was really challenging at that time, because we didn't have the catalogue of worship songs that we have today. When we finished worshipping we broke up into little groups and we prayed 'for one another'. The ground rule was that you could only ask for prayer for yourself. You weren't allowed to talk about other people or other churches.
His note caused me to reflect on this time and some of the other elements that appeared to create an environment where God could move. There seemed to be a quite and corporate brokenness, a deep sense of need and a hunger for God. No one was thinking of starting a church at the time, there was no 'vision' or agenda in the beginning, just a sense that as Christians we had lost our pure and innocent relationship with Jesus. We had sacrificed it for 'service', ministry, mission ....fill in the blank, but the purity of simply seeking to be a follower of Christ had been lost along the way and we certainly didn't know how to get it back, in fact we probably couldn't have even identified the fact that we had lost it. We just knew that something wasn't right on a very deep level, the passion was certainly absent and the fullness of what we had experienced as young Christians had now turned into a sense of emptiness and there was a sadness concerning this loss. So first and foremost this time was earmarked with a deep awareness of our need.
It was also a time of real humility, those who had once been so sure of themselves were having to face the fact that they didn't have all the answers. Those who had been puffed up, had become deflated by their own failures and shortcomings. And everyone was willing to admit it openly not caring how others would judge them, but the surprise was no one was in the mood to judge anyone else, it appeared that God had imparted a sense of weakness in all of us.
It was in this environment that God came and moved on the hearts of a little rag tag group of people, it was a time of innocence, purity, neediness and humility and our ability to connect with God through our worship as infantile as it was, brought such healing and restored so much hope.
I guess the sad thing is that it was long, long ago, we grew, we caught attention world wide, we became 'something' and we became self conscience. We noticed that God was using us and the reality is over a period of time the innocence was gone, the weakness became strength, the humility became pride, and the purity was polluted. I guess that is what we can expect when we no longer 'glory in our weakness', when our need to do becomes greater than our need to be. Driveness and hard work take the place of dependence and rest.
So as I think about that time on the one hand I am blessed to know that God in His mercy would move in the way He did. I'm also saddened at how hard it would be today to identify any of the characteristics of that earlier time.
May God have mercy on us, one and all and make us aware that 'we can do nothing apart from him'. We may look like we are doing something and it may look like God is at work, but if He is not in terms of the values of the kingdom of God, I wonder if it's worth it?
The thing he pointed out was the simplicity that earmarked this group and he is right in observing this. It was very simple in it's formula, we would 'worship' for a long, long time, which in terms of song selection was really challenging at that time, because we didn't have the catalogue of worship songs that we have today. When we finished worshipping we broke up into little groups and we prayed 'for one another'. The ground rule was that you could only ask for prayer for yourself. You weren't allowed to talk about other people or other churches.
His note caused me to reflect on this time and some of the other elements that appeared to create an environment where God could move. There seemed to be a quite and corporate brokenness, a deep sense of need and a hunger for God. No one was thinking of starting a church at the time, there was no 'vision' or agenda in the beginning, just a sense that as Christians we had lost our pure and innocent relationship with Jesus. We had sacrificed it for 'service', ministry, mission ....fill in the blank, but the purity of simply seeking to be a follower of Christ had been lost along the way and we certainly didn't know how to get it back, in fact we probably couldn't have even identified the fact that we had lost it. We just knew that something wasn't right on a very deep level, the passion was certainly absent and the fullness of what we had experienced as young Christians had now turned into a sense of emptiness and there was a sadness concerning this loss. So first and foremost this time was earmarked with a deep awareness of our need.
It was also a time of real humility, those who had once been so sure of themselves were having to face the fact that they didn't have all the answers. Those who had been puffed up, had become deflated by their own failures and shortcomings. And everyone was willing to admit it openly not caring how others would judge them, but the surprise was no one was in the mood to judge anyone else, it appeared that God had imparted a sense of weakness in all of us.
It was in this environment that God came and moved on the hearts of a little rag tag group of people, it was a time of innocence, purity, neediness and humility and our ability to connect with God through our worship as infantile as it was, brought such healing and restored so much hope.
I guess the sad thing is that it was long, long ago, we grew, we caught attention world wide, we became 'something' and we became self conscience. We noticed that God was using us and the reality is over a period of time the innocence was gone, the weakness became strength, the humility became pride, and the purity was polluted. I guess that is what we can expect when we no longer 'glory in our weakness', when our need to do becomes greater than our need to be. Driveness and hard work take the place of dependence and rest.
So as I think about that time on the one hand I am blessed to know that God in His mercy would move in the way He did. I'm also saddened at how hard it would be today to identify any of the characteristics of that earlier time.
May God have mercy on us, one and all and make us aware that 'we can do nothing apart from him'. We may look like we are doing something and it may look like God is at work, but if He is not in terms of the values of the kingdom of God, I wonder if it's worth it?
Monday, July 03, 2006
Turning the corner
July 2, marked 9 years since I resigned as Pastor at the Anaheim Vineyard. The past 9 years have been a series of ups and downs, marked by times of depression, despair, confusion and pain. In the midst of that there has been a steady sense of God's presence and support/favor, whatever you want to call it, it is very clear to me He has been with me through it all. It just dawned on me that I have turned a corner, that things are brighter, I haven't felt depressed nor succumbed to it's grasp in a long time.
There appears to be several reasons for this. First of all is God's longsuffering nature, He has been patient and compassionate at every turn. Another thing has been I have six wonderful children who have kept me going, I could never give up knowing how that would affect them. They are my earthly reason for living. Friends, have made another remarkable difference, God has placed people in my path sometimes for a moment, sometimes for months and a few on an ongoing basis. They have been His representatives and it is amazing how these people have impacted me. I am so glad they reached out, so glad they believed in me, so glad they care, it has made such a difference in my life. Although the number is far less than what I might have expected based on the breadth of my relationship base, in reality it has been a lot of people. Way more than I deserve and way more than most people would have, I am very grateful. I point each of these things out because I hope it will encourage others who are journeying through dark and difficult times. Look for the sign posts of Gods working along the way and take comfort in the fact that He is at work, He doesn't give up, He doesn't lose faith, He never ceases to care. And if you know someone who is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out, even with a note or phone call, you will not believe the difference it can make. I have had phone calls out of the blue that have helped me to make it through another day, when I wasn't sure I could make it another hour.
Pray for me that I will have the time and get the discipline to write and recount all of this as an encouragement to others.
There appears to be several reasons for this. First of all is God's longsuffering nature, He has been patient and compassionate at every turn. Another thing has been I have six wonderful children who have kept me going, I could never give up knowing how that would affect them. They are my earthly reason for living. Friends, have made another remarkable difference, God has placed people in my path sometimes for a moment, sometimes for months and a few on an ongoing basis. They have been His representatives and it is amazing how these people have impacted me. I am so glad they reached out, so glad they believed in me, so glad they care, it has made such a difference in my life. Although the number is far less than what I might have expected based on the breadth of my relationship base, in reality it has been a lot of people. Way more than I deserve and way more than most people would have, I am very grateful. I point each of these things out because I hope it will encourage others who are journeying through dark and difficult times. Look for the sign posts of Gods working along the way and take comfort in the fact that He is at work, He doesn't give up, He doesn't lose faith, He never ceases to care. And if you know someone who is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out, even with a note or phone call, you will not believe the difference it can make. I have had phone calls out of the blue that have helped me to make it through another day, when I wasn't sure I could make it another hour.
Pray for me that I will have the time and get the discipline to write and recount all of this as an encouragement to others.
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