Monday, April 23, 2007

Isolation and growth

I was reflecting on the last 3 years of my life recently and specifically thinking about the times that I spent disconnected and isolated from others, my choice. It's what I felt like doing, I was trying to avoid relationships and any connection with most people. When I say it is what I felt like doing, what I mean is I followed that inclination because I thought it would make me feel better. Well it didn't and in fact as I look back on all that alone time, I really can't identify any way in which I was helped. I can't think of how I profited or what I gained. What I thought would do me some good, did me no good at all. Which isn't terribly uncommon, we feel an itch we obey the impulse to scratch it, even if does more harm than good. I was infected with Poison Ivy one time and it was bad, really bad. I wanted to scratch the itch really bad, but it only made it worse and would cause it to spread. I had to resist the urge to do what felt like the right thing to do. I think there are many things like that in life, things that call upon us to obey and impulse, take an action, in the name of resolving something, when there are times, many times when the right approach to something is the exact opposite of what we feel is the right thing to do.
That's how it was with my isolation, it felt so right, I desired to be alone, couldn't wait, yet in the end it didn't help me at all. Obviously I'm not speaking here of withdrawing to contemplate, to draw near to God, God was there, but I wasn't drawing near.
I don't really have anything profound to say about this, in fact what I am experiencing now isn't any kind of revelation, but when I contrast the benefit I am receiving from being connected and engaged, over and against the isolation, there is no doubt that being connected is the way to go.

What we are engaged in and who we are engaged with is important as well. I am engaged in redeeming relationships with others and seeking in what ever little ways I can to sow into the Kingdom of God. I keep my eyes open and try and be alert as to what the Father is doing and any ways I can align myself with this. From all of this I am replenished and being healed and drawn forward.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Carl,

Isolation does not work for everybody. When one wishes to go into isolation, it needs to be with an exact purpose. I have many times in islolaton, both by choice and not by choice. When I do go into isolation, it is for creativity, meditaion, and prayer. I did spend much of my childhood alone mainly due to situations beyond my control. But through it I learned to use it to my benefit. I devoloped various tools to help me maintain my sanity (or what little I had to work with), it was not perfect. I guess for people who are not used to it, it would be a bit of a shock. Now I can use to grow closer to my Lord. Well I gotta go now.

ol' qm camper
Leslie

Unknown said...

I'm glad you decided to crawl out from under your rock and rejoin the land of the 'living.'

I heard something today that I thought rather profound. It has been my experience that the Church in general tends to belittle the true worth and value of the individual saints. It is all about "the ministry" - whatever that is.

Today I heard a spin on the Pearl of Great Price that I had never thought of before. The Pearl cannot be either salvation or the kingdom. NEITHER CAN BE PURCHASED BY ANYTHING WE POSSESS. The only one who has the wherewithall to purchase anything in the kingdom is the Son. HE gave all that HE had to purchase the pearl HE considered to be priceless. That pearl is us. That pearl is you.