In another blog I wrote something to the effect that everyone who calls themselves your friend isn't necessarily your friend.' I certainly came at it from a more critical point of view, which I think is alright, actually I think it's good. If we never looked at things critically Christians wouldn't have their faith today. It was Paul's criticism of Judaism that gave us the letter to the Galatians. The Apostle John's concerns regarding Gnosticism, simply stated, spiritual elitism, that gave us 1John. Without criticism we wouldn't have The Apostles Creed, the Church counsels or loads of other important things. In other words I believe we should examine things to see if they are true, kind of a Berean thing.
Having made that clear as mud, let me proceed to wax eloquent about the beauty of friendship. If you have friends, people who know you and love you, you are a very fortunate person. Friendship is such a wonderful gift, it keeps one safe, it keeps us growing and moving forward. There is no way that I would be where I am today on my own, I have needed friends to help me, sometimes carry me. They helped me to believe that everything was going to be okay, that I would make it if I just hung on. The friends God has given me have made all the difference in the world to my life. They have given to me when I had absolutely nothing to give in return. They have brought healing to me, have nursed me along that way and have supported me as I have made my first feeble steps forward. To have friends that love you unconditionally, who stand with you and stand up for you is something I hope everyone experiences.
The truth is I didn't even know I had friends like this until I was in a difficult and dark place, it became very evident to me that I did because they came an met me there.
What has made me think about my old friends, is the new friends that I am making. I couldn't make new friends now if it wasn't for the kindness and generosity of my old friends, so I even owe that to them. I am grateful because making new friends has enriched me so much, bringing new challenges to me,
stretching me, making me think and bringing me joy. There was honestly a point in time that I felt I could never be happy again and I was resigned to it, believing I didn't deserve to be happy anyway. But that's not the case, I feel alive again, I have hope, dare I say I am enjoying life.
Now I want to be a great friend, I want to be someone who is faithful, loyal and loving. I want to give out of the abundance that God has given me, I am willing to risk, I am willing to lose.
There was a time I would have thought only of self preservation, not wanting to experience hurt or loss again. But then you meet people who draw you out, who cause you to risk, because the reward is so attractive. If you can know and be known and loved, it is worth the risk. If you are stirred up to be better, to do better, it is worth the risk. If you can add something to someones life, if you can bring healing to someone else, it is worth the risk.
God gives us so many gifts, he is so generous in all His ways to us and I'm thinking one of the greatest gifts He gives us is friendship.
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3 comments:
Love this!! I have completely understood you not being in a fellowship of believers for this past season of your life Carl. I am so very glad that you are embedding again. I know that you have much to give. Much more than you did before. It will be giving in a so much healthier way. The local body of believers is so very important. We need each other desperately.
If the Taliban came to my home and said that they had identified me as a Christian- and in light of this were going to give me a choice of how my faith would be pursued. Here's the choice: #1 You can keep all your Bible's but may not be involved in the life of any Church at all- or #2- you give up all your Bible's but you can be involved with the Church as much as you like- I would take option #2 in a heartbeat. I have realized that all the knowledge in the world isn't worth crap in and of itself. We need each other. Desperately! We must be there for people not if they blow it- but when they blow it. We must fight the good fight, and struggle together with our sins. What an honor to be placed on this earth together the same time as you my friend. We can struggle together.
I love you Carl, Bruce
We are living in a world gone mad. Our own country stands on the threshold of a complete mental and social break down. I never thought that I would see a day when some crazy man would walk into a school house full of little Amish childern and hurt them because he was mad about something else. If he had a friend to come to his aid could this have been prevented? I myself do not know. But what I do know is those who are willing to open up to the empathic power of friendship might have a better chance of grounding those who are in severe pain and redirecting them. Deep unconditional friendship and the channels it opens up is not to be taken lightly. I know this because some of my friends suffer from mental disorders that have robbed them of the chance being able to really make friends and keep them. In fact it robs them of having any real quality of life. And some of these disorders can result in violent tendencies. You really cannot know a person until you do become their faithful, loyal, and loving friend. It is in that bond that you can learn a whole new meaning of pain and reward.
Carl, your quest is an honorable one indeed and I wish you God speed on this new journey.
In the midst of leaving one church, I thot, just in leaving there would be my same circle of relationships - only a bit distant. And that seemed to be the case for a few weeks. Then the proverbial poop hit the fan when we decided to be a part of a new fellowship, a new fledgling gathering that our old church disdains and sees as threatening...so the political has outweighed the relational and I find myself considered, once again, an outcast. I have found friends in the oddest places, compassion contained within the strangest of relationship and am grateful that God has allow the few of them to remain as we attempt to re-build our lives. Again, Carl, you have written and evocative piece.
Blessings,
~rich
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